I hope I don’t get in trouble for using part of Tool’s – Lateralus lyrics, but it was just so fitting! Raise your hands if you feel like you’re always in control and everything is great, you got it in the bag. No one? I certainly will not raise my hands on this one, and it’s ok, I flipped the game anyway, there’s not expectations of hands up here really.
My last post (a little while back) was about gratitude and trust me, I am very much still in that state, I do find things to be grateful every day, I do try to be as appreciative as I can, not because someone told me to or I feel obligated, but I truly do believe that at the end of the day I have more to be thankful for. However, it doesn’t mean is all rainbows and butterflies like we like to imagine it should or will be…
And that’s why I picked this specific song and part of it as reference… Because with more the spiritual and personal development I do, the more I learn to ACCEPT and HONOR the negatives and then LET IT GO. Sounds easy, but it isn’t though, I still fill like I’m constantly spiraling out and not making progress per se, until I realize how much I’ve accomplished, then I get hit in a low again, you get the drift right?
Why am I writing about this? Honestly, simply because I have been caught in some those “lows” recently and acting out some fears and trauma from wounds that get triggered from time to time still. So even though I have a pile of other things I should probably be prioritizing right now, I knew I had to LET IT GO. So, I covered my eyes with my hands for a moment, I took a few deep breaths, and I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me and direct my actions and activities in alignment with the highest Divine frequency and my purpose, and here I am, letting all out…
Life has put me in a path of pushing through, and pushing through, giving my all, going above and beyond, kicking ass, and taking names. And as much as there’s value in this and it has helped me accomplish as much as I have in life, like with everything, if not in moderation can be harmful. As I became deeper and deeper involved in the daily rat race (especially after having children) I also became more and more disconnected from myself and from Source, which left me depleted, and I became resentful, lonely, lost…
And although my personal and spiritual development practices have helped and continue to help me, this is a journey, so ups and downs are expected. Change is a lengthy and at times painful and frustrating process but is about learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. So, I hope that me letting out that – yes, I am going through a low moment of this journey will not only help me acknowledge, release, and let it go. But also, inspire anyone who may be going through or feeling the same…
So, to quote the lyrics again, (I highly recommend you look into it for more), I am literally trying to get to the point where:
“I embrace my desire to
I embrace my desire to
Feel the rhythm, to feel connected
Enough to step aside and weep like a widow
To feel inspired
To fathom the power
To witness the beauty
To bathe in the fountain
To swing on the spiral
To swing on the spiral to
Swing on the spiral
Of our divinity
And still be a human”
For today, and for this moment, I know that I am doing my best, and that’s all I can do, I honor my limits and limitations with love and compassion so I can continue to move on, and I hope you all can do the same.
Love and light.