Loud Spirit…? Well, I always heard I was “spirited”, also heard that I am an old soul and wise beyond my years, but what does “Loud Spirit” even mean? My best friend didn’t like “loud” as she thinks is related to obnoxious, well I will admit I can be both… but my mind went into a different path. I was thinking more along the lines of “BOLD”. I will say, I consider myself to be a bold woman.
Now if “Loud” doesn’t represent or convey any of the points I’m trying to make, at the very minimum would be a good representation to my Brazilian-Italian heritage. Yes! I was born in Brazil, but my dad’s side of the family is Italian, hence the last name – Giglio. This year marks 11 years since I left Sao Paulo for an exchange program that was 12 months long in Minnesota… Yeah, 12 months became forever. You know how the story goes right? A girl leaves her country to explore and live her dreams, meets prince charming and the rest is history…
Not quite. See, I was (still am) the kind who was constantly challenging everything and everyone, including myself. I was always questioning everything and couldn’t take “No” for an answer. At 8 years old I was “tattooing” my own skin with markers and had sleeves from the peel off tattoos that came in the bubble gum wrapper. When my parents asked what was with that, I’d proudly say “Oh, these are my tattoos, but someday I will have real ones.” and I remember my dad saying “Yeah, when you can pay for them yourself you will.”
I was the oldest of four kids and my mom stayed home with us. It didn’t make sense for her to find a job and spend it all to pay someone to watch us. My childhood was pretty awesome actually, I remember playing outside with my sister and our friends in the summer all day, doing all the kid stuff that kids would do in the late 80’s and early 90’s you know…
I loved the house we lived in, my dad made us a swing with an old tire and I’d spend lots of time in it. I’d daydream a lot about life while swinging back and forth, I’d make up songs….My dad is an engineer very logical, smart and inquisitive, needs to know how everything works (I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree), and takes scientific interest in everything. Is hard to find one subject, that he doesn’t know about and he also has a ton of books. I remember loving this one collection in particular of books about Tarot, Palmistry, Astrology, Numerology, Greek and Egyptian Mythology. I’d spend hours and hours going through those books and trying to decipher its messages even before I could understand any of it, I also loved his National Geographic collection…so needless to say I was exposed and constantly exploring since an young age.
When I was 7, I started learning English at the Catholic School I went to, it was part of the curriculum just as much as Math, Portuguese, Science and Religion – catholic religion. That opened up my mind even further to the world. I realized then that the movies that the movies and cartoons I’ve been watched all along had voices over and were not the original actors speaking and I was frustrated, I wanted to hear the real thing and told my parents I’d come to the US someday…
I grew up to continue to explore and excel at the subjects I found interesting and fascinating, I’d give my all and blow out of proportions – Art, History, Literature, Poetry, Biology, Physics… I was also good at sports and extremely active – skates, roller-blades, volleyball and swimming were a few that I was really engaged in. The other stuff I’d do enough to get by and that’s about it… I wanted to be an Architect so I could combine my artistic talents with my logical and binary side. I came to that conclusion after getting my Associates Degree in Electronics while also doing High School. During that time I was also in a couple of rock bands, and spent lots of time drawing, painting and creating characters for RPG games I played with my friends.
My loud spirit is the spirit of a woman who grew absorbing everything around. When I look at myself now, I can see many traits of the ones around me, specially my family – most importantly my grandparents and parents. I was raised catholic, made a decision not to step foot in church anymore at 15, after questioning the priest to the point that he said I should go find my answers if I couldn’t believe the church because I had too. So I explored Buddhism, Hinduism, Spiritism (Allan Kardec), Jehovah’s Witness, Seventh-Day Adventist… While reading a lot of Kafka, Shakespeare, Freud, Jung, George Orwell, Oscar Wilde and anything in between. And what I realized is that no matter what religion or faith you follow, if you don’t practice what you preach and don’t try to be a good person and fill your cup from within you’ll never be happy and fulfilled. So I continue to seek enlightenment and peace through self-love and mindfulness so I can be comfortable with who I am, with all my colors without seeking approvals or permission, just like I was when I was a child, but the grown up version of that soul.
And that has led me to this website and many of the other projects I am working on and will be sharing here, in hopes that anyone reading my words and following my journey can be touched and inspired to do the same. The journey has just begun and has no end, but I can tell you, it has been quite the ride, so buckle up and join me!
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